


Scars, Longing and Maybes

by BlueDecember



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: (kinda), Anger, Angst, Cuddling, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt, Kissing, Redemption, Scars, Teasing, Tickling, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 00:10:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17714321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDecember/pseuds/BlueDecember
Summary: When a new threat for the Rebellion emerges, Catra and Adora are more or less forced to work together again. But as they slowly get closer and closer together again, Adora begins to question Catra's real motives and can't help but wonder what's wrong with her former best friend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Who can find all the slight Percy Jackson references in here? *laughs nervously* 
> 
> I'm a Catradora mess right now and this is my useless gay brain's way of coping with all the queerness thrown at us by Noelle Stevenson and the She-Ra team.
> 
> This is basically a possible Catra Redemption arc.
> 
> By the way, English isn't my first language so if you're a English geek feel free to correct any type of mistake, grammatical error or weird phrasing that you encounter. It will really help me improve my writing and thus my English grades ;-)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fanfic and if you feel like leaving a comment, please do so, I appreciate them very much.

Adora didn’t know whether she should be suspicious or worried as she took in the sight of the battlefield in front of her. The Horde was attacking a small village by the edge of the Whispering Woods. It’ wasn´t exactly an important outpost of the Rebellion, but the village was one of Bright Moon’s main food suppliers and capturing it would grant the Horde a strategically important advantage. This, however, wasn’t the reason Adora had a bad feeling. With her sword, the power of She-Ra and Glimmer, Bow and Netossa, who hadn’t been too amused about the idea of abandoning her and Spinerella’s wedding preparations for this, the small battalion of Horde soldiers didn’t stand much of a chance against them. They attacked in a pretty basic formation, one that Adora still was too familiar with - _one could think the Horde changed their battle tactics after one of their own switched sides_ , she thought amused.

This battle was almost too easy and Catra was nowhere to be seen. Actually, Adora hadn’t seen her in her last few battles and while she knew that Catra was probably just trying to get into her head to later deceive her again, there was a part of her that couldn’t help but wonder whether something bad had happened to the girl.

She shook her head to get the thought out of her mind, reminding herself that Catra was the enemy and that she had probably missed the chance to get her to join the Rebellion for good a long time ago. Still, she couldn’t quite get her out of her system, sometimes the pain in her heart was simply unbearable, mostly at night, when the lack of warmth and weight on her feet and the absence of a calming purring noise, that used to help her fall asleep so much during her time in the Fright Zone that she had become dependent on it, reminded Adora of her loss.

A loud noise coming from underneath her feet interrupted her train of thought.  The Rebellion’s forces stopped their attacks for a moment, unsure of what to do. She-Ra furiously looked around to find the source of that noise but there was nothing to see, no enemy to fight, no weapon to destroy. Suddenly the earth beneath the soldiers’ feet parted, revealing a monstrous construction made of iron that seemed to emit a green light into the earth around it. The ground shook, buildings collapsed onto the battlefield and small craters were appearing everywhere, forcing the soldiers of both sides to retreat. At least the villagers had been evacuated before the battle had started.

Adora, who finally had a target, started to charge against the weapon, avoiding the rocks that were crumbling to the ground around her.  With one quick glance, she noticed that Glimmer was teleporting people out of the danger zone, but she knew her friend’s magic had limits and Adora slowed down when she realized, that Bow, who had been near her the whole time, couldn’t be seen anywhere.

Technically it shouldn’t matter to Adora whether it was Bow or any other soldier of the Rebellion missing, but the shock of losing both of her best friends at once, when the Horde had abducted them, and the memory of the sheer panic she had felt back then, caused her to stop.

“Bow!!!” she cried out his name – no answer.

With one mighty jump she was on top of one of the few buildings that were still standing. There was total chaos beneath her. Horde and Rebellion soldiers running around on the demolished battlefield, disoriented. Hordak’s forces started to retreat and Adora couldn’t help but get furious at the fact that obviously the vile warlord had no problem with sacrificing his own men while using his weapons. Meanwhile, Glimmer and the other princess were still using their powers as best as they could to get their people to a safe camp, outside of the machine’s radius. Adora was scanning the area when she finally spotted Bow, lying unconsciously in a crater. She sprinted towards him and jumped into the pit. Luckily the earthquake seemed to get gradually weaker so that Adora could shoulder Bow’s still unconscious but – thank Etheria – very much alive body and proceed to climb out of the pit without worrying that one of the rocks could hit his head. She had gently placed Bow at the edge of the crater and was about to get him to the others when the machine let out another awfully loud noise and the green light slowly began to charge once again. Adora had to think quickly. There were still people on the battlefield, many of them knocked out or wounded, but there was no way she would be able to reach the weapon in time. She-Ra picked up her sword, started to run towards the machine and flung her weapon at it.

_Let’s just hope I aimed correctly._

She had. The blade cut through the weapon’s hull as if it were butter. She-Ra could hear the sound of the broken machinery even from her position, but now the light emerged as a focused beam from the hull’s leak, too fast for Adora to react, and hit She-Ra in the chest, thrusting her against the ruin of a building. She collapsed against a wall. Had it not been for her powers, she certainly would be dead right now, but the impact had caused the ground to give in and, only half conscious, Adora fell into the darkness underneath her.

 

* * *

 

She wasn’t sure whether it was the pain that had caused her to wake up, but it sure as hell was the first thing she felt after regaining her consciousness. Adora was lying on her back, breathing, trying to make the pain bearable again. The air smelled like soil and rotting plants and was awfully moist. The memories slowly came back to her – Adora was underground. After what felt like hours she dared to open her eyes … and saw nothing. She was surrounded by complete darkness.  

_Okay, no reason to panic, first things first._

Adora began to examine her body, touching and feeling every bone to determine if something was broken. The good thing was, that the only serious injury she seemed to have, besides a few bruises and scratches, was a sprained ankle, maybe it was fractured, too, but nothing the healers in Bright Moon couldn’t handle. The bad thing was that for now, Adora couldn’t walk properly, leaving her in a more or less helpless position. It was only then when she noticed something else: Her jacket was missing.

 _No, not missing_ , she corrected herself. Her jacket was lying on the ground, folded into a square shape, and had been serving as a pillow for Adora. Someone must have placed it there, which meant…

“I know you’re there, show yours..Aghh!” her attempt to stand up had failed and Adora fell onto her knees, trying to breathe through the pain once again.  

Someone chuckled.

“Jeez, no need to be so hostile, Adora. I could have just let you be smashed by the rocks, you know.”

The tiny hairs on Adora’s neck stood up. This was Catra’s voice, maybe a little stiff and strained, but definitely hers. Adora was now all too aware of her vulnerability. She was injured, her sword was probably still sticking somewhere inside this machine and she knew that Catra, unlike herself, could see in the dark. But then again, her former friend had a point. She hadn’t had to save her from being crushed, she definitely hadn’t had to put a jacket under her head and the fact that Adora was still alive made her decide to not attack Catra right away.

 _As if I could ever harm her for real,_ a tiny voice inside her head whispered, but Adora suppressed the thought.

“Catra…” , she said, trying once again to stand up, slowly this time.

“Whoa there, careful with that ankle!”

Adora was now completely sure, that Catra’s voice sounded different, but she didn’t know how to bring it up, they certainly had more important things to talk about. Like, why was Catra so – she guessed one could say – nice to her? The last time they had fought, after their encounter at the First Ones’ temple, Adora had been sure Catra hated her with all her heart.

“Don’t freak out, I’m to your left”, Catra said before Adora could feel her wrap one arm around her waist and with the other one, grab Adora’s arm and put it around her neck, gently allowing her to lean on Catra. In her still dizzy state Adora’s body wanted nothing more than to feel Catra’s warmth and press against her,  but she resisted those cravings and reminded herself to keep her guard up. Both girls started to move forwards.

“Catra, what are you doing?  I mean … in here?”

Although Adora couldn’t see her face, she knew that Catra was making a funny face but then she let out a suppressed wince of pain.

“Hey, is everything oka..?”

“I was supposed to explore this tunnels when they suddenly crashed”, Catra interrupted her, obviously in order to change the subject.

“Hordak thought that maybe they could be used to spy on the Rebellion, but these tunnels don’t go further than to that village. I guess there’s no need to hide this information or whatever since, you know, thanks to Entrapta’s gENioUs machine most of them collapsed anyway so now all of my research is worthless.”, she complained.

Adora stopped walking.

“You mean to tell me that you have no idea where we´re going?”, she sighed.

“I mean, I`ve been wandering through these tunnels for days now, so I have _some_ idea!”, Catra responded defensively.

“Wow, even better. So you could lure me into a trap and I wouldn’t even see it”, now it was Catra who groaned. Adora could feel a mean response popping up in Catra’s mind but instead of spitting it in her face the girl just grumbled something under her breath and firmly led Adora to the wall of the tunnel with her arm.

“Here, now you can count how many times we turn around corners and stuff and you have a general idea of where we’re headed. Happy now, _Princess?_ ”

“That’s…”, Adora started as she lightly nudged Catra’s shoulder, “actually nice of you, thanks”. She smiled and hoped that Catra could see it.

The other girl sighed.  “Yeah, yeah, don’t make a big deal out of it”, and Adora, although it was very tempting, decided to not push things too hard. She had to admit that this felt too familiar:  the teasing, the playful fighting. Adora decided to ignore it, so she wouldn’t let her guard down too much.

They continued moving forwards and Adora once again noticed the stiffness in her former friend’s movements. They went in silence for a while, what gave Adora’s brain the perfect opportunity to overthink everything about this situation.

_What is up with Catra?_

_Has she been hurt?_

_Is this just part of some evil plan?_

_Or is she being genuine?_

_Maybe I can convince her to come with me?_

_No, that didn’t work out too well the last time._

_But she is awfully nice for some reason._

_Doesn’t she hate me?_

_But….._

Adora suffered her mini mental breakdown in silence until she couldn’t keep the questions to herself anymore.

“Why did you save me anyway?”, she asked, trying to sound casual, but failed big time. Catra chuckled and Adora, although she knew that Catra made fun of her, melted away at that sound.

“As I said, I was exploring the tunnel system when it suddenly started to collapse. While I was focused on not getting buried alive - you know, the usual - I kinda …”, Catra paused for a moment, considering whether she could show this sign of weakness around her enemy.

“I got disoriented. Then I suddenly picked up your scent and thought that maybe you could like, I don’t know, punch us a way out. Imagine my surprise seeing the _almighty She-Ra_ just lying there, unarmed and not at all so mighty and magical, while there were still rocks crashing down around her, so I simply moved you away from the danger zone.  I guess I was a little bit too late to save that ankle too, huh?”, she teased.

“Oh, come on. Don’t try to change the subject. You didn’t answer my question – why not just kill me? I mean, you said it yourself, I was pretty much helpless”.

Catra didn’t answer right away. In fact, Adora didn’t even believe she would get an answer when Catra took a deep breath.

“I don’t want to fight you when you can’t defend yourself. It would be too low … even for me. What would that look like to my soldiers?”, she quickly added the last part, trying not to make her response sound as if she still had feelings for her former best friend.

“Oh”, Adora couldn’t get her brain to think of a more fitting answer. Catra technically just said that the only reason she didn’t kill her was that she wanted people to know that she could defeat She-Ra in one-to-one combat, but the way she said it, it felt more like _I don’t want to fight **you** anymore. _

Maybe she was just reading into that. But maybe not.

“Ugh, I can basically hear your damaged brain working. Don’t get the wrong idea about our _relationship._ Let’s just find a way out of here and then part ways again, I don’t know for how much longer I can take this!”,  Catra snapped, but Adora still had one unanswered question.

“Who hurt you?”, she blurted out.

That made Catra stop dead in her tracks.

“Huh?” , she said, and then “No idea, what you’re talking about!”

_Oh, that got you. You know exactly what I’m talking about!_

“Come on Catra, don’t play stupid. Your reaction is enough for me to know that something is wrong with you. I know you. You’re in pain, so who did that to you?”, the will to fight had returned to Adora’s body and she was determined to find out what has happened to her former friend.  Catra had already opened her mouth to answer but Adora wasn’t finished.

“And don’t even start with all that  ‘You left me, you don’t know me anymore’ –bullshit because yes, I know that I don’t get to say that you’re my friend anymore, Catra, but I still know you, and for what it’s worth, I still care about you, whether you like or not.”

Catra had been listening to Adora’s monologue, ready to come back at her with a mean comment, but the last part seemed to have robbed her of any will to protest.

“I …”, she began hesitantly, trying to come up with something to distract Adora from her own persistence, because there was no way she would tell her what she wanted to hear. She wouldn’t turn this temporary truce into a ‘let’s talk about our problems and make up’-session. Then something caught her eye – her way out of this conversation.

“I see a  light”, Catra stated, no trace of uncertainty left in her voice.

“Haha, nice try, but I’m not THAT nai…”, Catra interrupted her by spinning Adora around.

“Seriously, look. See that crack in the ceiling? We just didn’t notice it earlier because it’s already night but you can see some stars if you look closely.”

Now Adora saw it too.

“Shit, you’re right”

The crack was merely 3 ft. long and the dim light that shone through it wasn’t even enough for Adora to see more than a few shadows and the black silhouette of her feline friend.

“I doubt that it is big enough to fit a human body through, though.”

Catra sighted in relief. By discovering the crack she had gotten Adora off the topic. But now Adora was exited and as she tried to get closer to the crack, her ankle gave in and she tripped. It was only thanks to Catra’s grip that Adora didn’t fall.

She leaned on her friend’s shoulder to regain her balance and muttered a quick “thanks”, embarrassed that her enthusiasm had caused her to act rashly.

Catra could feel Adora tense up and breathe heavily.

 _She must be pretty exhausted,_ she thought and strangely it made her feel sorry. She was supposed to hate Adora, despise her for the heartbreak she had caused, for not even realizing what she had meant to Catra, what consequences she had suffered after being abandoned by the one person she had trusted.

_Who am I even kidding?_

At this point, she and Adora had fought long enough for her to know that she couldn’t hate her now-enemy, at least not always, not in situations like these, where there was no one around to judge them, no one who expected a vicious fight, just the two of them alone.

“Hey, Adora?”, there was a softness in Catra’s voice that Adora hadn’t heard in a long time.

“Listen, no offense but you’re too weak to go any further, besides …”, Adora could see the shadow of her friend turn her head away from her as she spoke the following words:

“Besides, it’s night time anyway so why don’t we just rest here?”

Adora considered her options, but the way Catra had cared for her that day, saving her life, practically carrying her through the tunnels for hours, made her decision an easy one.

“Yeah, actually I would like that”, she gave her the most genuine smile her body allowed her to do while still in pain and hoped that Catra could see it, but the other girl was already busy with letting Adora down gently and placing a part of her own clothing under Adora’s head before she sat down and leaned her head against the wall.

_Why isn’t she just using my jacket again?_

As if Catra had heard the unspoken question, she stated:

“Scorpia thought that I could use a jacket down here but it’s kinda scratchy anyways so I guess you can use it as a pillow or whatever. Besides, you will need something to keep you warm, so now you can use your own jacket for that.”

Adora chuckled.

_Right, Catra always used to be like this:_

Making up excuses for being nice instead of admitting that she actually cared about someone, just like now.

“Remember how in the Horde you were the one who always used to keep me warm?”

She knew that maybe she was pushing too hard with this statement but with her head still feeling dizzy from the pain and Catra so close to her, she lost every intention to maintain the fragile barrier between them.

“Adora, please ….”, Catra pleaded, sounding exhausted.

“And now I struggle every night to fall asleep because you aren’t there. I just want to be close to you again, closer than I am with Glimmer or Bow. I don’t want our fights to be the only time you touch my face or keep me close to y…”

“STOP IT”, Catra snapped and the other girl could feel her shaking from anger next to her. Catra didn’t say anything else, but Adora knew what was going through her head at this moment. Every hateful thought, every curse, every accusation felt like a knife being stabbed into her heart. Adora had asked Catra who had hurt her earlier. And although she wasn’t the one who harmed her physically (at least not this time) she knew that Catra was hurting because of her. Adora’s eyes filled with tears.

“You know, I`m sorry. For everything”

She managed to say this out loud without sobbing but she knew that she was on the verge of breaking down and more and more whimpers escaped her mouth.

Catra remained silent, not giving her former friend the satisfaction of a reaction, unable to explain how she, in fact, didn’t know that she was sorry. How could she even be sorry if she didn’t understand the extent of heartache she had put her through? After a few moments, Adora had almost calmed down when Catra shifted her position and crawled closer to her so that Adora could feel the warmth that was coming from her former best friend’s back. Catra herself wasn’t sure why she was even doing it, but there was something about Adora that always made her soft side come out, even if she felt nothing but anger for her. But deep down Catra knew that this wasn’t the only thing she felt for her, that it wasn’t the feeling that was prominent right now.

Adora hesitated at first, surprised by the other girl’s reaction, but being so close to Catra, feeling her body next to hers, made her bury her head into Catra’s back, inhaling the familiar scent and allowing herself to cry. Adora’s sobs echoed through the tunnels as she clung to Catra’s shirt with her hands as if her life depended on it because, in a way, it did. Soon Catra could feel the wetness from Adora’s tears on her back, who was still crying uncontrollably, so moved at the fact that even after all the things she had put Catra through, she was still willing to be close to her, at least to some extent.

And then, just like that, Adora could hear Catra purring. Catra knew this sound would calm her friend and if she was being honest with herself, the purring came kind of naturally whenever she felt Adora’s body close to her. It seemed to work. Slowly the sobbing stopped and although it was pretty clear that she was still shaken, Adora’s breathing went back to normal. After some more minutes of silence, Catra was sure that Adora must have fallen asleep.

 _I should just go_ , she thought.

_Or at least sleep further away from her so she won’t think that I liked being so close to her when she wakes up._

In her mind Catra listed at least a hundred reasons why she should distance herself from Adora, but in the end she turned around and wrapped her arms around the girl, gently positioning Adora’s head in the crook of her neck, because all she needed was one reason to do this.

_That’s how it was supposed to be._


	2. Chapter 2

There was a warm feeling. Adora thought that it had been the sun, shining through the small crack, that had tickled her nose, but when she opened her eyes she noticed that it had been a strand of Catra’s wild hair. The girl was lying on her stomach in a position that shouldn’t be humanly possible and she was making sounds that were like a mixture of purring and snoring. She had one arm wrapped around Adora’s waist and her tail around her thigh, all her other limbs were stretched out in different directions – the sight was almost too cute for Adora to handle. She hadn’t expected the girl to still be there in the morning, but she was thankful that she had stayed and helped her calm down.

_This is too good to be true._

Adora decided to enjoy the moment, knowing that it would be over soon and Catra would resort to being her withdrawn, dangerous self. Careful not to wake her, she snuggled close to her friend. A pleased ‘huff’-sound escaped Catra’s mouth as she, still sleeping, shifted her position so that her face was facing Adora’s.  She drew a sharp breath at the sight: There was a red scar on Catra’s face as if someone had cut an X into her cheek with a sharp knife. Adora examined the wound closely. It wasn’t exactly a fresh one, maybe two months old, but by the way it was healing she could tell that it must have been a deep cut - and a very painful one.

_Oh, Catra._

A thought from the day before had crossed her mind and Adora took a closer look at the body that she was currently cuddling with. Most of it was covered by Catra’s clothes but Adora didn’t miss the hundreds of bruises and scratches.

She couldn’t imagine how Catra could have gotten them. She was strong, stronger than most of the princesses, and she was fast. In fact, the only one who could defeat Catra was She-Ra and sometimes Adora wasn’t even sure of that anymore. The hatred in her former friend’s heart had made her cruel … and more powerful. She definitely wouldn’t take a knife to the face and lots of punches without being able to defend herself. So who had been able to harm Catra, to get close enough to her to inflict this kind of injuries?

Adora had a terrible suspicion, but she couldn’t just ask and then hope for a positive reaction. Faced with her own incapability of helping Catra, a feeling of deep sadness and the urgent need to comfort her friend overcame her. She moved her hand to Catra’s face, no longer caring about breaking any boundaries or that they were enemies. She cupped the girls face, planted a soft kiss to where the scar was and continued stroking her cheek.

Adora was so distracted by the feeling of Catra’s skin under her fingertips that she didn’t realize that the purring had stopped and the girl had opened her eyes, now watching Adora’s movements carefully. Finally, she noticed that Catra had woken up and her stroking stopped. However, Adora’s hand remained on her former friends face.

For a while they just looked at each other and Adora, encouraged by Catra’s positive reaction - because one could call not ripping your face off a positive reaction - dared to caress Catra’s cheek again. The girl closed her eyes and leaned into the touch.

Adora smiled at the girl in front of her. Word’s couldn’t express how much this moment meant to her. The fact that Catra allowed Adora and herself to be this intimate again, didn’t shy away from the touch, had Adora thinking that maybe they both had a chance of making things right.

“Hordak”, Catra said all of a sudden.

Adora blinked, confused.

“What?”

“It was Hordak who did this. I know you’ve been wondering”, she opened her eyes again and stared at Adora, who didn’t dare to avert her eyes.

_Tell me about it._

She hoped that Catra could see what Adora was trying to communicate through her gaze. It seemed to work because soon she started to explain:

“In our last battle I have come closer to overthrow Bright Moon than any other Force Captain, but our forces had also suffered a great defeat. My efforts haven’t been enough. Hordak, however, must have seen some potential in me – he promoted me to his second in command”

Adora had to use all her strength  not to inhale sharply. In a way, she was proud of Catra, she had even managed to overcome Shadow Weaver, but that meant that her friend was now the one pulling the strings in the fright zone. It complicated their position. Should the Rebellion be victorious against the Horde, surely many citizens and officials would demand Catra’s head, literally.

“However, there had to be a punishment for my failure, he said”, Catra continued. Adora noticed in the way she spoke that it wasn’t an easy topic for her to talk about, but the fact that she did impressed Adora all the more.

“I … I couldn’t do very much about it, couldn’t defend myself, I couldn’t protect myself. I hated every second of it. Do you know how senseless everything feels, knowing you’re being punished for accomplishing something for the first time? How helpless you are, when the only thing you can do is endure the pain with as much dignity as you have left?”, her eyes had teared up and Adora pulled her friend closer, comforting her, running her fingers through her hair.

She couldn’t say much. Everything would sound as if Adora was trying to take advantage of the situation to convince Catra to join the rebellion and thus losing her trust.

_But this is war, right? If this can get Catra on our side… The end justifies the mean._

“If that’s how you’re rewarded, why do you even stay there?”

That had Catra snap out of her current position and she jumped to her feet in an inhuman speed so that Adora couldn’t even react.

She just stared at her angrily for a few moments.

“I should have known. This…”, Catra made a gesture with her arm that involved Adora and herself, “… this was a mistake. We’re going, now! And we will do it in silence until we find an exit!”

Catra stomped to the wall.

“Catra, please”, Adora pleaded, putting a conciliating tone in her voice, but Catra simply turned around to demonstrate that she was willing to go.

“NOW, or I’ll leave you here to starve”.

Adora knew that Catra was being serious, so she hastily packed together her few things and limped to the wall where the other girl was standing, not expecting her to help Adora get back up. When she had finally managed to stand up, Catra grabbed her roughly, made Adora lean on her and dragged her forwards.

Adora didn’t try to start a conversation again. She cursed her selfishness. Instead of enjoying this rare, intimate moment, she had had to play the Hero again and all that ever did was push Catra further away.

_Hurting, sad, exhausted Catra._

This weren’t exactly the words Adora would have used to describe her friend. Wicked, maybe. Mischievous, for sure. Sly, funny, full of energy – those descriptions used to fit her much better, but Catra wasn’t being herself. The war had scared her, literally and emotionally.

 _Not only the war. It was me,_ Adora thought and maybe for the first time, she fully grasped the extent of Catra’s loss, her sacrifice, when she had decided to pick up the sword and join the Rebellion.

Catra had done so many mistakes, so many bad things, but so had Adora.

She was so lost in dwelling on past mistakes, that she didn’t notice that Catra had stopped walking and bumped into her.

“Ouch, what …”

“Shh”, Catra interrupted and pointed at a spot in front of them, where rays of light shone through an opening in the ceiling.

“That’s our way out. Let’s go”

Adora wanted to point out that she couldn’t climb the walls in her condition, but Catra was already a step ahead of her. Without a heads up, she bent her knee and lifted Adora up, so she could carry her on her back.

“Don’t get the wrong idea. This is just so we can actually get out of here before the sun goes down again”, she warned but Adora noticed that her face had blushed a bit and she cracked a small smile before wrapping her arms around Catra’s neck and burying her head in the other girl's mane.

_This is the Catra I know._

Catra, swift and smooth as a cat, jumped to the wall as if there wasn’t a full grown human being on her back, and started climbing. Adora knew that she didn’t have to worry about her friend losing her grip so she let herself relax a bit, which gave her time to realize that once they got up there, she and Catra would have to part ways and she would rather have them end their short time together on good terms, but after her fiasco earlier, she didn’t think that was possible anymore.

With one last strong pull-up, Catra heaved them both over the edge of the small pit and helped Adora get on her feet.

It took a few moments before her eyes adjusted to the daylight, but the sight that was offered to them left Adora speechless.

The once green and overgrown fields near the attacked village that had been full of life, with beautiful flowers and trees, were now a brown wasteland. Nothing was left of its richness of vegetation, the earth was left charred and barren.

Adora sunk to her knees, overwhelmed by the real extent of destruction. Then her gaze met Catra’s. She had expected to find some kind of satisfaction in there, but the other girl’s expression simply looked sad and distant. She knew that deep down Catra didn’t enjoy this, but Adora couldn’t simply let this matter rest.

“Is this what you want, Catra?”, she cried out, gesturing towards the destruction.

“Is this the price you’re willing to pay just to prove a point? That you’re stronger than me? Seriously?”, she glared at her former friend, who averted her eyes as a response, but Adora wasn’t done.

“If that’s what it takes to prove something to yourself, then you should just kill me now and be done with it!”

That made Catra look Adora in the eyes. She was now on the verge of tears, clenching her teeth.

“This is not what that’s about!”

“Oh, really?!”, Adora shouted back.

“Because this is what you’ve told me all of this is about ever since I first offered you to come with me!”

“I was lyi…”

“ADOOORA!”, shouting voices in the distant interrupted Catra. Both girls turned around.

“Looks like they’re looking for you”, Catra stated, having regained her composure. She buried her hands in her pockets and slouched her shoulders, blinking away the last tears in her eyes, before she turned around and started to walk away.

“Catra, wait!”, Adora called after her with a softer, more conciliatory voice and grabbed the other girls wrist which caused Catra to stop for a moment, before shrugging her former friends hand off again.

“The machine you destroyed was just a prototype.”, she stated so quietly, that Adora almost couldn’t hear it.

“The real one is hidden somewhere in the woods near Plumeria, they want to destroy every kingdom one by one, starting with Perfuma’s. You better find it.”, and with that, Catra started to walk away again.

“Why are you telling me this?”, Adora asked pleadingly – no answer.

“Isn’t Hordak gonna hurt you again, if he finds out that you’ve helped me?”

But Catra didn’t stop to give her an answer, she didn’t look back.

Soon Glimmer, Bow and the others, who had led a search party in order to find Adora, discovered her. Suddenly there were arms everywhere around her, a dozen people talking to her at once, crying tears of joy, but all she could do is stare at the distant, where Catra had disappeared into the shadows moments before.


	3. Chapter 3

_The sunset is beautiful tonight,_ Adora thought as she watched the night fall over Etheria from the bench on her balcony in Bright Moon Castle, hoping for her occasional visitor to appear.

It had been almost four months since the Rebellion’s forces had managed to destroy Hordak’s war machine, the real one this time. The Horde had suffered many devastating defeats since then, but only a few of them were thanks to She-Ra and the princesses alone. The truth is that most of their victories hadn’t been possible if it weren’t for Catra’s inside information.

One day, a few weeks after their rather complicated encounter in the tunnels, Adora had found a card written in Catra’s handwriting and with a naughty doodle on it on her bed. It had informed the Rebellion of a secret Horde mission that they then had been able to prevent last minute.

A month later Catra had shown up on Adora’s balcony in the middle of the night, warning her about another of the Horde’s attempts to capture the Kingdom of Snows. But before Adora had been able to confront Catra, the girl had disappeared swiftly as a cat.

After that Catra’s visits had become more and more regular, but still, Adora couldn’t predict them for sure. At some point she had given up on asking Catra why she was doing it, she didn’t even question whether this was just another one of her traps, because Adora could sense that the other girl’s intentions were honest.

With every visit, Catra and Adora were growing a little bit closer again and she didn’t want to risk their newfound trust and the few affectionate moments together by asking too many questions that maybe even Catra didn’t have an answer to … yet.

However, Adora didn’t miss the fact that every now and then Catra was more distant than usual. She noticed a change in the way she spoke or in her movements. Adora knew that her friend was being punished by Hordak, who blamed the Horde’s failures on his Second-In-Command, but by hiding her injuries Catra obviously tried to avoid this sensitive topic and Adora didn’t want to force her to live through all of her suffering again by stirring up the memories. Still, she was aware of the fact that with every piece of information Catra provided the Rebellion with as a double agent, and with every victory against Hordak’s forces, her friend put herself more at risk.

_This can’t go on forever._

“What’s up with the furrowed eyebrows? Worrying too much again, are we?”, the sound of a familiar, teasing voice interrupted Adora’s thoughts as Catra slid onto the railing of the balcony, smirking.

“My brows weren’t furrowed”, Adora countered, playing indignant.

“Oh, please. They were so scrunched together, I thought I had to call you She-Ra, Princess of unibrows from now on”.

Catra grinned and playfully pinched Adora’s arm, who, in response, tackled her and dragged her to the bench, tickling the girl behind her ears, her belly and under her chin.

 _This is nice,_ Adora thought as Catra was shouting curse words under her, but she knew that if the feline girl wanted to, she could free herself from Adora’s grab in an instant.

_Catra doesn’t seem to be hurt this time._

She enjoyed these innocent, playful moments between them. During her visits, Catra had let more and more of her old self slip through, the walls she had put up were slowly collapsing and Adora recognized the girl she had known since their childhood more every time they were together like this. She had missed the funny Catra, the cheeky girl who liked to pretend that she didn’t care about anything and anyone but deep down was one of the most loving, most caring people in the world – once you got her to like you, of course.

Meanwhile, Catra, who had managed to recover from all that laughing, flipped Adora over so she was on top of her, which forced her to stop tickling Catra. For a moment, both girls stared into each other’s eyes, unable to do anything else, slowing down time. Adora couldn’t really tell, what was going through Catra’s mind right now, she seemed reserved again, probably feeling guilty for enjoying herself for once, so Adora made an effort to express how much she loved Catra, that she forgave her for what she had done and that this … that they were okay through her eyes and hoped that the other girl was able to read her.

Catra was the one who dared to move first. She tucked a loose strand of Adora’s hair behind her ear and with one finger – claw retracted – she traced Adora’s jawline down to her lips. Suddenly, all power left Adora’s body and extreme fatigue overcame her. She leaned her head against Catra’s collarbone, inhaling the familiar scent of her friend, closed her eyes and put her hand over the other girl’s heart.

“Please stay”, she whispered, as she had so many times before. Catra gave her a weak smile.

“We’ve talked about this. You know I can’t, Adora”

But Adora didn’t want to hear it.

“Don’t go back there”, she pleaded, half-heartedly – they’ve had this discussion before and it always ended with Adora staring at the spot where Catra had disappeared into the night. Catra sighted.

“It’s not like I don’t want to leave the Horde, Adora. I just don’t know whether I will ever find my place in the Rebellion … like officially and all that stuff”, she explained. Adora pulled Catra closer to her, wrapping her arms around her neck.

“I’m not asking you to join the Rebellion. I want you to stay **with me.** I need you here, Catra, close to me”.

She sniffled.

“I don’t want you to go back to the Fright Zone. I can’t go on like this, pretending that I don’t notice your injuries or that you’re in pain. It breaks my heart”

Catra had begun to stroke Adora’s back, trying to comfort her as she felt that the other girl was on the verge of tears.

“I know, it’s just that …”

“No, you don’t know, Catra!”, Adora cried out.

“You can’t know, because I haven’t told you this before, but I love you”

Catra froze at those words.

_She …. she loves me?_

Catra hadn’t thought that she would ever hear those words, at least not directed to her. How could Adora love her, when she didn’t even like herself? When the guilt for all the bad things she had done was keeping her awake every night? They had both been raised in the same barbarous environment, by the same vile people, but somehow Adora had managed to not become merciless, to not lose her heart, unlike Catra.

Adora sat up and put her hands on either side of Catra’s face, forcing her to look her in the eyes.

“I love you, Catra. And I need you … more than you know”

Catra couldn’t take it anymore. She decided to give in to the desire she has had ever since they were teenagers and that had tortured her for the last few years. Her tail brushed over Adora’s hand, causing the girl to loosen her grip. Catra gently placed her arm around the girl’s waist and with her hand, she cupped Adora’s face, as she pulled it closer to hers.

Adora let out a “huff”-sound, when Catra’s lips softly brushed hers for the first time, before climbing into Catra’s lap and pressing her body against hers. She intensified the kiss, wrapping her arms around Catra’s neck and lovingly caressing the girl.

Their lips parted, met again – at some point Adora had opened her lips to which Catra had let out a satisfied groan in response before kissing her again with even more passion.

Adora chuckled into the kiss when a mixture of purring and a sensual “hmmm” escaped Catra’s mouth. She’s never felt something like that before, she hadn’t known that skin could be so sensitive. It’s like they felt every touch 1000 times more intensively and they couldn’t get enough of it.  Adora buried her hands in Catra’s wild hair, Catra was holding Adora close to her while slowly tracing down her body with her free hand.

Adora could have gone on like this for hours but eventually, they had to break apart in order to catch their breath. She looked into Catra’s beautiful eyes and the girl gave her Adora her trademark devilish smile.

“Flustered, princess?”, she teased and Adora couldn’t help but blush, but she didn’t avert her gaze.

“Ha! You wish! You look pretty thrown off balance, too, Miss ‘This-is-not-because-I-like-you’”

Catra laughed, but Adora could tell that it was only half-heartedly.

“Hey”, she intertwined her fingers with Catra’s, “what’s wrong?”

Catra looked up.

“You know this doesn’t mean that I’ll stay, right?”, she asked quietly.

“What? But I thought …”.

Catra interrupted her with another quick kiss, just pressing their lips together softly, and Adora didn’t have the strength to protest so she simply closed her eyes.

“The Horde is weak, Adora. They’re retreating more and more back to the Fright Zone. This war is going to end soon”

“I know, that’s why you don’t need to be a double agent anymore, Catra. You could just stay”, Adora pleaded, but Catra simply shook her head.

“There are things I need to do first”

“Like what?”

Catra didn’t answer her. Instead, she simply caressed the girl’s cheek.

“Goodnight, Adora”

With one jump, Catra was on standing on the balcony’s railing again before disappearing into the woods.

The sun was long gone. Adora stood up and went inside, still feeling the phantom of the tingly sensations of Catra’s lips on her own. She had never felt more alone in her life, but Catra could do that to her.

_One minute I’m in heaven, never having felt happier, and then the other I’m just left devastated._

Adora wondered whether anyone else had that much power over her – _probably not_.

But she wouldn’t cry, Adora felt like she had cried too many times during the last few months and even though her time in Bright Moon had taught her that it was okay to cry, that it was okay to be vulnerable from time to time and that showing your emotions had nothing to do with weakness, she simply had enough of it.

She was strong and so was Catra – they would figure something out. It’s like she had said: Soon this war would be over, but for that ‘soon’ to come even sooner, Adora had to stop crying and actually take action. And this time she would have Catra on her side along with Glimmer, Bow, Perfuma, Mermista, Sea Hawk, Frosta, Queen Angella, Spinerella, Netossa and Swift Wind.

_There is no more reason to cry._

* * *

 

 

“Are you frickin’ kidding me?!!”, Glimmer was knocking – very aggressively – on Adora’s door.

“Relax, I’m coming”, Adora yawned and trotted to the door, still sleepy, but Glimmer wasn’t having any of this and simply manifested next to the girl, nearly causing Adora a heart attack.

“Glimmer, do you have **any** idea what time it is?”

“Yeah, yeah, enough chit chat. Let’s go!”

“What? What is going on? Glimmer, NO!! I’m still in my PJs”, Adora squealed horrified, but the princess had already grabbed her arm and the next thing she knew, she was standing at the entrance of Castle Bright Moon in only a pair of shorts and her rather embarrassing shirt, that had a drawing of a fat cat on it.

“Oh, man”, she sighted in defeat, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

“Uhhhh, KITTY! I love kitties!”, a familiar, amused voice exclaimed.

Adora froze and looked up, then to Glimmer, and then back to the giant person in front of her.

“Um, Glimmer? Maybe wanna explain what’s going on here?”

The princess crossed her arms resignedly.

“Actually, I was hoping that **you** could explain what’s going on here”, but before Adora could reply, Scorpia, who had been following the conversation, took a step forward and held out an envelope towards the girl.

“Maybe this can help, blondie”, she stated and smirked, still being her happy self, despite being surrounded by a dozen enemy soldiers.

The Bright Moon guards tensed up, but Adora motioned them to hold their positions.

Glimmer also seemed to have calmed down a bit. At least she had come to the conclusion that she needed to enlighten the still confused Adora.

“They were suddenly standing at our gates this morning, claiming to come in peace. Of course or guards had cornered them, but it’s not like we can let them into the castle and I don’t know what to do”

“Wait, ‘they’?”, Adora asked. “Scorpia, aren’t you here alone?”

“What?”, the tall woman chuckled.

“No, of course I´m not alone here, silly. I brought my friend”, she spun around as if she was looking for someone.

“Now where is she?”

“Yoo-hoo!”

Entrapta appeared behind Scorpia, having previously been hidden by the Force Captain’s sheer height.

“You know, it’s soooo good to be back here. I mean, the Fright Zone had some reeeaaaally exciting tech, but the polluted air was starting to get on my nerves. Always made my mask dirty”.

As if to prove her statement, she tapped on the dusty glass of her welding helmet.

Both of the dorky Horde-princesses looked expectantly at Adora, but to be honest, she was still not fully awake  and unable to make any decision right now, so she simply took the envelope from Scorpia’s hands (pedipalps ? – she wasn’t sure what term Scorpia preferred) and started to read it. Meanwhile Glimmer asked the obvious question.

“What exactly is it you’re doing here?”

Entrapta didn’t even hear the question, already distracted by some kind of a small, new invention she was working on, and Scorpia simply laughed.

“We’re here to join the Rebellion, duh! We’re princesses after all, isn’t that right, Entrapta?”, she gave the purple haired girl a pat on the shoulder.

Without even looking up from her project, Entrapta mumbled. “Yeah, yeah. Princesses, that’s right”

Glimmer raised an eyebrow and with her hands on her hips, she eyed the girls in front of her suspiciously.

“Riiiight. And why should we trust that you’ve suddenly had a change of heart and that this isn’t some kind of trap, hm?”, she asked.

“Except that this this isn’t a sudden change of heart”, Adora interrupted, finished with reading the letter.

“Look…”, she handed the envelope to Glimmer, “it’s from Catra. It’s her last piece of information for us. They’ve been helping her all along, they’re on our side”

Glimmer knew that Catra had provided Adora with intel from the Fright Zone. When Adora first had told her about it, she hadn’t been too delighted about going on missions that were based on clues from the enemy, but Catra’s information had always been proven to be right and helpful, so eventually Glimmer had accepted that she could trust her.

“Yes! Catra!”, Entrapta exclaimed, “Catra told us that it was time to come to Bright Moon!”

Glimmer’s eyes scanned the piece of paper in her hand, ignoring  Adora’s grin that was practically screaming ‘I told you so’.

“Fine,”, she finally stated, “I’ll have to run this by my mom and the other princesses first, but I guess for now you can come in”, her expression softened a bit.

“I think Perfuma will be happy about your return, Entrapta”, she winked at the girl and Entrapta’s face turned bright red.

“Yay, let’s go, Entrapta!”, Scorpia grabbed the other princess and let her sit on her wide shoulders before following Glimmer and the guards inside, but Adora quickly blocked their way.

“Sorry, Scorpia. Just one more thing: Do you know where Catra is now?”, she asked hopefully.

The tall girl seemed to think about the question.

“She didn’t tell us where she was going – said that she had one last thing to do, or something like that, but she didn’t say what it was, I’m afraid”

Adora’s gaze fell to the ground.

“Oh, okay. I guess I’ll see you guys later then”

She watched the former Horde soldiers disappear into the castle, until Glimmer, who had stayed with Adora, gently nudged her arm.

“Hey”, she said, giving her an encouraging smile, “I’m sure she’s okay”

 _I know she’s okay,_ Adora thought, _I just wonder how long it takes until she can tell me that herself._

 

* * *

 

Adora groaned with frustration as she let herself fall onto her bed, diving head first into the pillows. It had been an exhausting day. She had been dragged from one meeting to another, not even getting the chance to change into real clothes. At this point she had stopped caring about the silly motive on her shirt, at least it meant that she could go right to sleep.

Scorpia and Entrapta had signed a peace treaty with every kingdom and solemnly pledged their alliance to the Rebellion. The whole procedure had been fairly peaceful and civilized, Adora had expected more hostility from the other princesses, but once Perfuma had entered the room and nearly suffocated Entrapta with her hug, nobody had had the heart to start a fight.

 _This day may have been tiring, but it also has been a good one,_ Adora thought as she rolled over and stared at the ceiling, smiling.

“I hope this happy face means you liked my gift?”

Adora jerked up and her grin got wider. There she was. Catra. Standing on her windowsill with her cocky, smug look - but something didn’t fit into the image.

“What on earth happened to you? You look like a scarecrow, Catra”, Adora burst into laughter when she saw Catra’s irritated face.

“Not funny. Instead of laughing maybe you should tell your gardener to stay away from the fertiliser next time, Bright Moon’s backyard looks like a jungle!”, Catra countered, pouting. Once she had her body under control again, Adora hurried to her friend, grabbed her arms, led her to her bed and gently pushed her down, forcing the Catra to sit down so Adora could untangle the branches and leaves that were sticking out of the girl’s wild hair.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I guess Perfuma got a little too excited about Entrapta’s return, if you know what I mean”, Adora blushed a little, but she quickly changed the subject before Catra could notice.

“Why didn’t you just use my door instead of sneaking into the Castle through this ‘jungle’, anyways?”

Nervously Catra scratched her arm, a sign that she was unsure about something, and that didn’t happen very often.

“I … I didn’t know if I’d be welcome here after everything”, she said faintly. Catra raised her head to look into Adora’s eyes.

“Plus I wanted to tell you something in private, before facing the princesses”

Adora could sense that this would be important thus she stopped running her fingers through Catra’s hair so the girl could take her hands. Adora looked into Catra’s eyes and gave her an encouraging smile.

“I realized that I didn’t give you a proper answer to what you said to me yesterday”, she began.

_Yesterday? What did I tell her yesterd … oOH!_

Catra took a deep breath. The day before she had been so confident, so sure of what she was doing, but now Adora was able to see a side of Catra that she hadn’t seen in a long time: a vulnerable side, a side that didn’t have to have everything under control. The fact that her friend finally trusted her enough again to be completely herself around her meant the world to Adora and this alone would have made her the happiest girl in Etheria today, but she didn’t expect what came next.

“I love you too, Adora”

The girls just stared at each other, unable to react. Catra, still nervous, scratched behind her ear.

“Anyways, I was wondering if we could do that thing we did yesterday aga…”

Adora lunged forward and flung her arms around Catra’s neck, her force knocked them both over. She first kissed Catra fiercely, then she kissed her again, hesitantly this time, waiting for the other girl’s response. Catra ran her hands down Adora’s back before they reached her hips, allowing her to pull Adora closer, and lightly nibbled on the blonde’s lower lip, what caused a pleased groan to escape her mouth. She flipped them both over so they were lying on their sides now as they were making out, and Catra bent Adora’s leg slightly, exploring her thigh with her own sensitive fingertips while the other girl was busy caressing Catra’s lean stomach.

Adora pushed Catra away so she would land on her back, climbed onto her legs, before bending down to give her another slower and tenderer kiss while mildly stroking her ears, to which Catra simply responded with a satisfied “hfmm”.

Then suddenly it was over. Adora interrupted the kiss and let herself fall on to the mattress next to Catra, giving her a mischievous grin.

“Hey, what’s that all about?”

Catra lifted herself up a bit, now lying on her elbows, and looked at the blonde expectantly.  Adora chuckled and lightly punched her in the shoulder.

“That’s what you get for leaving me on the balcony. It’s a sign of bad manners”

Catra stared at her for a moment before both girls burst into laughter, unable to ignore the irony in her words.

“Yeah, I guess I deserve that”

She crawled closer to Adora and rested her head on her belly. The other girl began to run her fingers through Catra’s hair again.

“I’m tired, Adora -tired of fighting. Let’s just end this war, so it can always be like this”

Adora gave Catra a hug, wrapping her arms around her waist.

“We will”

And like that, they fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this fanfic has been very fluffy and sweet blah blah blah, but don't judge me. Let's face it: Everyone needs some romantic fanfics every now and then ;-)
> 
> Ah, and by the way: I'd like to take this chance to announce something: Catra is a top, but Adora is a switch and takes control sometimes, thank you and don't come at me.  
> Hope you enjoyed this story.


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